Everything wrong with Obsidianwing's Quest
by Eaglehaze
Summary: This is my commentary of Obsidianwing's Quest! Yeah... that's all there is to it! I'm rating it T because... well you know the drill... WARNING: This story is not a trollfic and may make you feel the urge to throw up.
1. Chapter 1

**Hello everyone! I'm doing a commentary on Obsidianwing's Quest! (Encase you didn't read the title)**

**This isn't supposed to be a hatefic but... who are we kidding? **

**My comments are the bold and underlined (Obviously)**

**Onto the story! Thing!**

**PART 1 LOVE AT FIRST SITE**

Obsidianpaw wook up to a lot of birds.

**She wook up? How do you do that?**

She walked outside th e apps

**The e apps? Is that a knew iPhone app? Okay dibs!**

den and saw firestar. She felt her hart fluter.

**Fluter? How the heck does anything fluter? Wouldn't that hurt?**

He was old but she thot he was hot.

**Okay let me just stop you right there. No.**

"hi" She said and smiled at him.

"hey" firestar replied with a wink.

He winked! He loved her!

**So now a subtle wink means that you're in love with someone? ...Well that's news to me!**

"meat me in mah den" he said.

**Meat? Does he want to share prey with her or something?**

"but I have training" obsidian paw said

"idc" firestar said

**Is it really so hard to say: I don't care? How would cats know the abbreviation of that?**

obsidianpaw was excited. Why did he want to see her in his den?

(shuld i continue

**NO! Never write another chapter!**

pls review bye)

**Okay bye! Hope to never read another of your chapters again!**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the reviews! Keep them up and I'll post sooner!**

**Onto the story**

**PART 2 HE LOVES ME**

Obsidianpaw eagley

**Eagley? That offends me. It actually offends me (See name)**

followed firestar to his den. When they were there he padded close to her and she got nervous. He suddenly kissed her and she gasped.

**Okay why would she make firestar, the good and moral cat, (Yes I've been reading Win a Date with Nightcloud) the cat who saved all the Clans and puts all other cat's needs before his own, a cheater. This is unrealistic. And this is the real deal. It's not a trollfic! And cats don't kiss!**

"firestar no you have a mate you cant make me have ur kits." she said.

**Kits? Who said anything about kits?**

"I love you more than Sandstorm! Be my mate! Idc if I am am a lut older then you!" he said.

obsidinpaw pawsed. He was so hot. "ok" she memured.

Firestar kissed her again and she kissed him bak. He purred and licked her chin.

(will continu if I get 1 nice review thankz)

**One nice review? Well sure at this point in the story I can understand some helpful criticism... possibly considering the name, or people reviewing saying: "Ah this is such a great trollfic! It's hilarious!" Any other reason is beyond me.**

**Gosh this story is horrible. I mean ****_really _****bad. R&R and I'll update another one tomorrow!**

**~Eaglehaze**


	3. Chapter 3

**Have any of you heard Ed Sheeran's new song? I see fire? I was listening to it as I wrote this! Ha. It plays at the end credits of the Desolation of Smaug. That's kind of how I heard it in the first place...**

**And thank you so much for the reviews! I was going to post it tomorrow but I'm actually bored to hell right now and I'm looking forward to reading your reactions.**

**Onto the story!**

**PART 3 OH NO!**

**You say oh no? I say HELL YEAH!**

firestar kissed obsidianpaw four a while.

**Is it just me or is this story already wanting to make you throw up? SHE'S AN APPRENTICE! He's old enough to be her great grandpa!**

Suddenly he pressed against her. He purred ludly and twinned his tail with hers.

**So I guess words can just be made up now? I'm sorry but this annoys me! I don't do grammar mistakes! I'm one of the main people in the grammar police! (Well not really but if I see something, I'll correct it.)**

Obsidian pured in pleasure.

**Oh gosh**

He stated to get closer.

**Here we go...**

Sudenly a cat came in. It was... Sandstorm!

**Yey! Sandstorm to the rescue! Now kick his furry little butt!**

Obsidianpaw blushd a lot and shrenk back. Firestar

**Finally! firestar is now Firestar!**

gowlrd. "I love her not you!"

**Ooh, cat fight!**

"but-but shes a dumb app!" Sandstorm yelled.

**Go Sandstorm! You tell that app! Where can I find this app?**

"I LOVE HER!" firestar screamed.

**So back to firestar? You gave all the other cats capitals!**

"You only think she's sexy!"

**Don't snigger immaturely! Pffffft, sexy... *sniggers immaturely***

"Well she is."

**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA**

firestar said licking his lips as he gazed at obsidianpaws light blue pelt.

**Rude!**

Her ears were tipped purplish-black

**MARY SUE!**

and her atractive eyes were forst green.

**I don't know where you come from but here, frost is white.**

Sandstorm cried,

**Cats can't cry!**

she cried so hard obsidianpaw felt bad.

**GOOD!**

"Firestar i-"

"Sh" firestar cut her off. He began to make out with her in front of sandstorm.

**Ugh, resisting the urge to throw up.**

Sandstorm sobbed.

**The real Sandstorm would have clawed him to shreds...**

Firestar grinned wider and wider as sandstorm got more upset.

**But then again, Firestar wouldn't do that in the first place so...**

He purred and so did she.

**Ugh. Deep breaths everyone. Is it me or is this story more non likeable then Starkit's prophecy?**

Sandstorm wailed.

**I really don't blame her at this point.**

"Why does she hav too be so hot?" Sandstorm wailed.

**And all my future sympathy disappeared.**

Then she came close to obsidian and licked her affectionately while firestar was still kissing her.

**SANDSTORM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!**

Obsidianpaw growled. Gross! She thought.

**At least she knows some sense...**

She tried to come closer but firestar broke away and chased her away "SHES MAH MATE!" He yowled.

**This story... AHHHHH! *Takes deep breaths* One of these days I will start ripping out my hair just so I can take out my anger and frustration on something!**

Sandstorm ran away. Firestar turned to obsidian and purred ludly.

**Pffft, ludly...**

Lets continu.

"u uh ok...ay." Obsidianpaw agreed.

They kissed for the rest of the nite.

**So I should just give up on trying to persuade her that cats can't kiss?**

(thanks for the positive reeviews :)

**Positive?**

its not really supposed to be funny tho lolz)

**That explains it!**

**I hate this story more then Starkit's prophecy. That's saying something.**

**I'll update tomorrow if you give me reviews! **

**~Eaglehaze**


	4. Chapter 4

**Thank you for all the great reviews! And yes, I know, this fanfic is terrifying. And It doesn't capture the real personalities of any of the characters at all. Keep up the great reviews!**

**Onto the story!**

**PART 4 LOVE TRIANGLE**

**Is this really going to turn into Starkit's Prophecy?**

The next day obsidianpaw went to jayfeathers den.

**Why? Is she ill? Please let her be terribly ill!**

He looked at her with longing in his cool blue eyz.

**How do you pronounce eyz? The only way you could pronounce something like that would be like eyez...**

He pured.

**Oh I wonder what will happen next! (Note the sarcasm)**

"I smell firestar on u" he said.

"oh...uh..." obsidianpaw stammered.

"how abot...i get my scent on you to" he suggested.

**Inappropriate!**

Obsidianpaw blushed. Befor she culd do anything he waz kissing her.

**Oh Jayfeather what happened? Why! I thought you loved Stick! Stick, the inanimate object, is a better choice than her!**

He kissed her harder then firestar. She enjoyed it.

***Holds back throw up***

He took it to de next level by twining their tails together.

**I thought she and firestar twined tails...**

Obsidians heart raced.

**Wait. No spelling mistakes? She ****_never _****misses a chance to misspell heart...**

The blud rushed in her ears.

**Well, she still misspells blood. There's the xxobsidianwingxx we know and hate!**

They both pured loudly.

Obsidian left the den feeling happy and satisphied.

**Ugh, dear mother of god.**

She knew she liked jayfeather more den firestar...but firestar was so hot...

**He's like, over seven generations older then you!**

suddenly a memery flashed in her mind. It was firestar making out with her as a kitt.

_**Firestar! That is, rape! I should report you! And how did Obsidianpaw's mother not notice this?!**_

He had always loved her...

**Loved? Are you sure he's not just a pedophile?**

Who wuld she choose?

**No one! They are both too good for you! Jayfeather is a medicine cat! As I have already made clear, Firestar is ****_way _****too old for you!**

**Ugh. Every time I read this story I feel nauseous. I swear somewhere, out there, someone has really thrown up.**

**And who here's seen Frozen. I swear I'm obsessed with Olaf...**

**I'll update again soon!**


	5. Chapter 5

**Thanks for the reviews!**  


**Tansyheart: Haha, Personally I hate Hans. You know They ****deleted a scene where Elsa was being evil? Have you seen Frozen honest trailer? And how it should haze ended?**

**Embersky: I know, it's a horrible story. And thanks!**

**IhateSpottedleaf: Haha, maybe I should do a fanfiction like that... And one question: why do you hate Spottedleaf? I mean personally I prefer Fire/Sand...**

**Onto the story!**

**PART 5 REGRET**

**Yes!**

Obsidianpaw felt pain in her belly.

**Here we go again**

She immediately went to jayfeathers den...at leest it was an excuse to see him again.

**So even if you didn't have a belly ache, you couldn't have thought up a different reason? I mean after Firestar, you just waltzed in.**

She still hadn't toold firestar about them

**Haha, toold...**

and it had been a week! She went to his den and acted sexy, she culd tell it gave him pleasure.

**You make me sick ****-_-**

"my belly hurts." She said az she ran her tale acros his cheek. Jayfeather let ot a cole breath.

**A cole breath? Like coal? How do you even get a breath like that?**

"ill check it out for u." he said. Obsidian ruled over on her bak. Jayfeather brushed his paw across her belly. Befor he could do somthing she wuld have liked,,

**Ew! Jayfeather! Get away from it! It'll do something unspeakable!**

he gasepd.

"OBSIDIANPAW! U R PREGNANT!" he gasped.

**-_- ****Surprise surprise. You could kind of tell by the obvious Mary Sue in this story.**

Obsidianpaw felt sick. "are...are...they urs or firestar's."

"idk" jay said.

Obsidian cried on hiz shulder "i...i...hope day are urs...but they culd be firestars...or..." obsidian gasped, remembering back to when she was first apprenticed and liked lionblzae "THEY ARE LIONBLAZES!"

**DON'T YOU DARE DRAG LIONBLAZE INTO THIS!**

Jayfeather sobbed. "my own brother..." He cried.

**I know cats can't cry, but if they could, Jayfeather would never cry. Ever.**

Obsidianpaw felt bad but new they wer lionblazes. She rushed to the leader s den an told firestar.

**Why?! Why would anyone tell the cat they cheated on, that! And she just left Jayfeather to cry? Seriously?**

firestar gave her a gash on her face. "DEY SHULD HAVE BEEN MINE" he yowled.

**Go Firestar! You rip her to shreds!**

Obsidian was hurt both mentally and outsidely.

**Good!**

She sobbed in the apprentice den...

**Did she teleport or...?**

a cat came to comfort her. She luked up and it was... Icewing?!

**Why is there a RiverClan cat in the ThunderClan apprentices den?**

(2 b continued pls stop hating.

**NEVER!**

Are you team firestar, jay, lion, or ice? XD)

**Right let's see... Firestar's too old, and would never do that, Jayfeather's a medicine cat, and would never do that, Lionblaze belongs with Cinderheart, and would never do that, and Icewing is a RiverClan cat. And straight. And would never do that.**

**R&R!**


	6. Chapter 6

**Thanks for all the review everyone and sorry I didn't update again sooner but I've not been feeling well at all today and I'm still not, so be grateful I'm updating at all. I'm not answering anyone cause like I said, I don't feel well.**

**Excuse my language in this chapter.**

**Onto the story!**

**PART 6 NO HOMO**

**Pfffffft, homo...**

Obsidianpaw felt comfortable next too Icewing. She crled up against her az ice licked her affectionately. She kissed ice quickly the turned away.

**Keep it down Eagle, keep. It. Down.**

Instead of being shocked, icewing kissed her bak on the lips. She kissed her hard and pressed against her.

**Ugh. I'm already feeling ill. Don't make it come out.**

Obsidianpaw shivered. She luved a she-cat?

**Ahhh there it is. She's gone back to spelling it luve instead of love. So ****_nice _****to finally have her back again.**

"I cant be wif you I had an affair with firestar, nd pregnant with lionblazes kits, nd jayfeather is my bf!"

**And you're only an apprentice?! I'm sorry but this cat is a massive whore. There. I said it.**

"ill be ur mate instead of dumb jayfeather." Icewing said.

**DON'T YOU DARE INSULT JAYFEATHER IN MY EYES!**

"ugh why does everybody luv me" obsidianpaw said.

**Maybe because the writer is a massive bitch and wants to live through her OC. That would make the writer want... that. Ew...**

Icewing ignored her and kissed her more.

**Okay. Icecloud, would never do this. Okay am I the only Ice/tom fan around here? And not a Mary Sue tom at that?**

Obsidian didn't protest.

**Ugh, bile rising!**

Suddenly jayfeather walked in.

**Go Jayfeather! Now kick Obsidianpaw's butt!**

he didn't notice cuz he waz blind.

**YOU HAVE GOT TO BE KIDDING ME! NO! No. This... HE WOULD SMELL HER!**

He went ovr and kissed obsidian, her didn't no ice was kissing her to. Obsidian fekt awkward.

**Well so would you if you were kissing two people... AT THE SAME TIME! Gosh. If I had a penny for everything wrong with this fanfiction I could cure world hunger! (And yes I'm British but I DON'T have a British accent. I'm northern English, like on the border of Scotland)**

"I wil father da kitz" jayfeather said and walked away.

"that waz close" icewing said.

**No shit.**

Icewing walked away. _what will I tell jayfeather? _

**Seriously? Still telling the cat you've cheated on everything you would least want them to know. *Slowly claps***

_I want icewing too be the kits parent wif me not him. _Obsidian thought. She cried and ran out of camp.

**YES! She misery is my joy. Muhuhuhuhu.**

**So sorry if that was more opinionated then funny but seriously, I don't give a crap.**

**And I did warn you about language so don't go reviewing about that.**

**And I know it's supposed to be Icecloud. I was just pointing out that this is the name of a RiverClan she-cat.**

**R&R**

**~Eaglehaze**


	7. I learned how to name my chapters!

**Thanks for all the great reviews! And I'm feeling a lot better today! Although I still have a massive headache... ah well!**

**ScipioPB: Yes Icewing really is a RiverClan she cat. Look her up.**

**Indigostar12: :3**

**Embersky: I know, and thanks! Although this is really more opinionated then funny, but ah well, I try.**

**ssyrup: I know. I have a feeling someone has gone on a killing spree after reading this story ;)**

**Alleykat29: Thank you, thank you, I try :) And you're on! May the unhealthiest person win.**

**Tansyheart: Yeah, this author really messed up somewhere in her life. That goes for Starstar as well or whatever her name was... She just doesn't make the characters sound like the real characters at all.**

**Onto the story!**

**PART 7 QUEST**

Obsidian felt pains in her bely. She knew the kits were comeing and she waz far from camp.

**Cliché****  
**

She lay down and had teh kits.

**Oh come on! So you just lie down and kits appear do they? You could have least given her a scene where she actually has the kits! (in an Erin Hunter way, not in vivid detail)**

They died

**Yes!**

except one.

**God dam it!**

It was a dark brown tom. It looked nothing like lionbaze or her.

**Fascinating. You know this may shock you, but cats don't always tend to have kits that look exactly like them. I know. I've got a brown tortoiseshell that gave birth to a black tom and a tabby grey tom. The father was ginger.**

Weird.

**Not really.**

Obsidian new she couldn't go back to the clan so she stayed outside for a while.

**So a cat that's just given birth shouldn't really move their kits for at least a few days. She stayed outside for a while. I'm sorry but that sentence counters the bit when she says: Obsidian new she couldn't go back to the Clan. Doesn't it?**

She buried he kitz like dirt,

**Well _Someone_ needs to go to some parental classes.**

she hated them and there father.

**Well that's a bit extreme. I can understand the Lionblaze part but hating kits? Ugh, this is Brokenstar all over again.**

**Aww! My three legged cat keeps being cute! bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbb avhhuuu**

**My apologies, he walked on the keyboard. No really.**

She stared at the living kit.

**Who apparently is able to not freeze while staying away from his mother and milk for so long.**

Suddenly she relized he was differebt. His eyes were amber

**He's already opened his eyes?! Moments after birth? Seriously?**

and he had a scar on his noz. Weird.

**Extremely weird! No kit is just born with a scar, unless they're deformed but I still can't see how that would cause a scar. And as I've already explained, kits don't just open their eyes right after birth! Seriously! How much does this person actually know about cats in general? Don't even get me _started _on how much she knows about warriors!**

She went back to camp with him and saw icewing. Icewing took him to the nursery. Jayfeather was shocked she'd kitted

**What!? He's still the medicine cat! He should have known that she was close to kitting!**

and still dint

**dint? what's a dint?**

know she loved icewing.

**So after two moons, roughly the time it takes a cat to give birth, you didn't break up with him? And he didn't find out? And how is Lionblaze the father of the kits but he's not actually cropped up once in this story except when saying he was the father and crap. He's not actually shown up.**

Obsidian growled at him.

"I luv icewingnot u" she said.

**It took you two moons to say those simple words? Really?**

Jayfeather ran away crying.

**Yeah, 'cause he would do that.**

She dint

**There's that dint again.**

care having kits had filed her

**It filed her? How the heck is that possible?**

with rage.

**And apparently didn't weaken her in the slightest. You know giving birth does that!**

**You know sometimes I think I write more than her in these commentaries.**

**R&R!**

**~Eaglehaze**


	8. The hilarious life of Obsidianwing

**Winterbornbree: (Love your name by the way) Yeah... I seriously think she had a mental break down somewhere in her life, recovered badly, and made her the way she is.**

**Willowsmoke of shadowClan: I really don't know. They are both terrible stories. And why thank you. *Bows***

**PART 8 REBORN**

**Wow I wonder what this will be about. Oh wait.**

Her kit was being made an apprentice it had been 6 months since she kited.

**Moons! It had been six moons! Man, I'm not even surprised any more!**

"ur name will be tigerpaw" firestar said.

**Oh so that's what she called him. Good name, I must admit. Especially by someone who had an OC called Obsidianwing.**

TIGERPAW?!

**Wait, she's surprised? Didn't she give him his original name as a kit?**

Obsidian realized something in dat moment. Her kit was tigerstar reborn.

**... Seriously? SERIOUSLY?! So even if he was you didn't notice this when, I don't know, he was a kit?! Did you not raise him at all? Seriously? Really? Ugh. I don't even, ugh. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Whew, been holding that in for a long time.**

How culd she kill him b4

**B4? BINGO?!**

he was evil.

**So you're thinking about killing your only son who may or (most likely) not be Tigerstar reborn and he's not yet evil. Have you tried showing him love? This is all too much like Frozen. If they'd just shown Elsa that little bit of love she wouldn't have done what she did! (I'm not spoiling anything)**

She had started to actually luv him after he was born.

**Oh look! Those parenting classes I signed you up for has started rubbing off on you!**

She cried and ran away from the ceremony.

**Okay, two things. 1. RUDE! and 2. What? No spelling mistakes!?**

Icewing ran up and comforted her.

"it will be ok I will kill him" she said.

**Wait, what? How does she even know? Do those two have a psychic connection or something? And why are you talking about killing him? He may be Tigerstar reborn but that guarantees he's going to be evil? He might have been sent back for a better life for all you know! I mean when Cinderpelt came back it was to take a different destiny! Maybe Tigerstar was doing the same!**

"No!" scremed obsidian.

***Sniggers immaturely* scremed, Pfffffft!**

Ice siged "what wil we do?"

**Um... let's see, how about you LEAVE HIM ALONE! He never did anything to you! Plus Tigerstar wasn't really evil. He had a messed up passed.**

"idk" said obsidian. Her life was horrible

**GOOD!**

she was only made a wario

**Wario? Like as in the character from Mario?**

a moon ago

**What? And your ****_kit _****is being apprenticed?! Wait, where would she find the time to do her warrior training when she was nursing a kit? this story is just messed up! Really, really messed up!**

(her name was obsidianwing btw)

**So you couldn't put an important part to the plot like, I don't know, RECEIVING THEIR WARRIOR NAME into the actual story?! **

and her kit was an apprentice.

**That's what I'm saying!**

She luved like 5 cats,

**Whore...**

and her kitwaz evil.

**Undetermined.**

Ugh.

**I think that's the exact reaction everyone who has every read your terrible story has had.**

**I think I have an idea about what I want to do a commentary next on. As anybody heard of moonkits destiny? WELL IT'S TERRIBLE! It's actually harder to understand then Starkit's Prophecy.**

**Okay, you know the drill.**

**~Eaglehaze.**


	9. Kit murderer!

**winxclubfan1: I know. It's a very unlike able story.**

**Opal090: Sadly not...**

**Tansyheart: Yeah, I think we can all agree that she's messed up in the head. Plus I signed er up for parental classes!**

**Windbristle: I'm sorry, I meant to add the "n"! Don't hurt me! And I know it means before. Sorry for adding a bit of humour to it.**

**april243: I don't even want to know what goes through her head...**

**Embersky: I want to do Moonkit's Destiny but... well I'm just not sure If I'll be able to stay sane until the end of it! What if this story drives me mad?! And I know, she's such an attentive parent!**

**Winterbornbree: I know, but it's so bad that it makes me want to do a commentary!**

**Alleykat29: I think I'll start Moonpaw's Destiny after I've finished this, it's only 17 very short chapters!**

**And sorry I've not updated until now. I actually forgot because I've been really ill today. Alleykat29, I think you might beat me.**

**Onto the story!**

**PART 9 THE CHOICE**

**Ooh**

(took a brake cuz of hate.

**Good!**

Pls stop flaming.)

**NEVER! WE WILL FLAME UNTIL THE END! (Cause that's just how loyal we are)**

obsidian had too finally choose her mate.

**Uh, why exactly? I mean, some cats go through life without a mate. No a lot of cats go through life without a mate. What's the big deal?**

She hated firestar,

**It's your own fault he scratched you for being a massive whore!**

Icewing was boring,

**So what;s that you were saying about loving her and waning her to raise the kit with you? Did that mean nothing?**

lion left her,

**Wasn't it just two chapters ago that you said you hated him _and _the kits? _Because _they were his? And that they filled you with rage or whatever?**

nd jayfeather was mean.

**Since when? I mean in the actual series I guess you could call him mean (though I prefer the term irritable) but in here you made him a giant pussy! When was he ever mean?**

She had nobody.

**Yes! You know this is like the first time in her life she hasn't had a mate? I mean when she was a kit Firestar raped her, as a new apprentice she was with Lionblaze, then what I presume was straight after she was with Firestar, then she cheated on him with Jayfeather, and then she became homo with Icewing. I assume she was with Firestar straight after Lionblaze because she had to nurse a kit for six moons and she was a warrior for one of them, which would take up most of her training.**** Logic.**

She loved nobody.

**Again, for the first time in her life.**

Angry filled her up.

**Angry filled her up? This story doesn't surprise me in the least any more...**

_I will kill my kit!_

**_Didn't those parental classes I signed you up for help at all? Seriously! You think you make a difference. Bit it's your kit! He's not evil! Paranoid much?_**

She screamed in her head.

Obsidian ran out of camp. She saw tigerpaw. She jumped on tigerpaw and tackled him.

**Go Obsidian! Use tackle attack!**

"m-mom?" he cried weekly.

**Don't do it! Please don't do it! I will go Repunzel on you! I've got my frying pan at the ready!**

Obsidianwing sliced his neck open and he was dead.

**You heartless- despicable- evil old- hag! *Whacks with frying pan***

His menoter

**Pffft, menoter**

berrynose gasped. "YOU ARE EXILE" he screamed.

**You know, since Berrynose became warrior, this is the first time I have actually liked him but you can tell he's still as arrogant as ever. I mean, who gave him the power to exile cats?**

Obsidian ran away.

**AND NEVER COME BACK! Yeah that's right.**

She left all clan territory.

**Now if you would kindly go and drop off the face of the Earth, I'm sure we would all appreciate it.**

Suddenly she was in the mountains.

**I would react to this obvious glitch but, as I've already said, this story doesn't surprise me any more.**

She ran more,

**So she's not tired at all from the run all the way from Clan territory, past twoleg places, through fields and forests, crossing rivers and escaping dogs and foxes? She would definitely collapse from exhaustion.**

and hit a cat. He looked down at her, he was the hottest cat she had ever seen.

**Here we go again... whore**

He had goth black fur

**Goth? Cats can't be Goth! What are you on about?!**

wit ginger and brown and white patches. His eyes were dark green. They were so beautiful they looked like they had eyeliner.

**WHAT? EYE LINER! What? That's a man made product! How she even knows of eye liner I will never know.**

His fur was long and sleek. He had bright white teeth and fangs. The last thing she noticed was his goth black coller with silver spikes and a skull hung from it.

**What? That's the last thing you noticed? Wouldn't that be the first thing you would notice?**

In the skull the name sol was carved.

**Wait, Sol? Seriously? Sol doesn't have a collar! He's also a ginger, black, dark brown and bright white-patched tortoiseshell and white tom! That's not right at all! (Well, nearly)**

**Well I'll try and update tomorrow. Until then, R&R!**

**~Eaglehaze**


	10. Stupid OC insulter

**Hi! Sorry I didn't update yesterday. Everything's been a bit hectic. I mean I've had work, I'm ill, which didn't help at all, I had a friend over and I had to pack because I'm going to the Lake District tomorrow and I still have a tun of packing to do! That also means i wont be able to update until Friday at least because no electronics! How will I survive? I've also got addicted to Harry Potter again! I'm reading Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix! Again! For like the fifth time! (No joke) So, moving on, I'll update again later today.**

**Opal090: Um, well I was just kind of thinking of doing a commentary on it, I wasn't really thinking of making it readable.**

**IslaTheFairyOfIce: (Love your user name) *Sigh, I know. It's such a shame, I wasted all that money on parental classes... such a waste!**

**Willowsmoke of ShadowClan: I need to do the exact same.**

**Empress Tansy: (Why'd you change your name? I like it, just wondering, you don't have to say if you don't want to :) Respect guys, respect) I know, that's exactly how I felt.**

**Embersky: Thank you! And yeah, I mean, EYE LINER! I still can't get over that!**

**NinjaStarCraft: Know how you feel.**

**Alleykat29: Yeah. I thought I was better yesterday, or at least getting better, but I've had a headache all day. Ugh. I think I must have a cold, but your illness sounds worse.**

**Onto the story!**

**PART 10 HOME**

**No! Never return there! Keep your messed up life away from all the ones with a bit of sanity left in them!**

(Woo 10 parts!

**No! ten parts!**

Thanks to all teh nice reviewers xD! And all u flamers are dumb

**-_- ****You think you can talk huh?**

and in dis fanfic all of ur OCs r exiled cuz they were dumb like u.

**YOU JUST CROSSED A LINE BITCH! It's okay Eagleyhaze, mama's here for you, don't fret. DON'T YOU DARE DRAG ****_MY _****EAGLEYHAZE INTO THIS MESSED UP STORY! Ugh! I mean you can insult me all you want, but insulting someone's OC is almost as bad as insulting someone's OTP! Deep breaths everyone. This girl lives somewhere in America right? Can one of you guys go and slap her for me?**

PS sol is a vamp and goth

**WHAT! A vampire?! And you say this isn't a trollfic? What! *Trying to comprehend. Failing miserably* WHAT! This story is going to put me in a mental hospital one of these days...**

kinda bc I wanted him to be smexy

**AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! SMEXY! Word of the year! Oh, I'm actually crying from laughter! Hahahaha, smexy... *Laughs uncontrollably***

I know he isn't rlly vamp)

**Yeah, because the Erin's would make Sol a vampire to begin with wouldn't they!**

obsidians hart beat fast. She whispered "hi sol"

he gazed at her "hey." He said.

"i-I'm obsidianwing..." obsidianwing said. "I was exiled from thunderclan."

"I hate thunderclan!" sol said "I took over bloodclan so I could fight them...

**Pffft, yeah, because Scourge would let that happen wouldn't he.**

the old leader scourge visited me in the df so i could live long and kill easily."

**I don't even know...**

"Your so... smexy..."

**AHAHAHAH! THERE IT IS AGAIN! Wait, is that a complement? And does she ****_mean _****to write it like that? Why? All of these unanswered questions...**

obsidian said, drooling.

**Oh get a room, and a life.**

Sol snorted and pured, he rubbed against her.

**Wow, these cats are forward. You know in reality, if a cat just crashed into a different cat, which they did, their natural reaction would be to leap back in defensive mode, or lash out as a reflex. Well in this dimension cats get friendly really quickly...**

"so r u" he said.

**Pffft, he called her smexy, technically...**

Obsidian blushed and licked sols cheek. They made out for a long time. She slept beside felt at home when she was wit sol.

**Ugh, this story makes me cringe.**

**So R&R! I'm seriously not feeling well so I'll only update another one today if at least one person reviews. If no one does (which I doubt knowing you guys (:) I'll see you when I see you! Bye!**


	11. THE FAKE END!

**The honour goes to Alleykat, I'm updating! And sorry about the field trip, tough luck.**

**Emberclaw- My exact reaction.**

**april243- I actually considered doing that!**

**Empress Tansy- Yeah, the name suits you. And Gladly. *Cringes***

**EmberskyofShadowClan- Glad you got an account! And thanks!**

**IslaTheFairyOfIce- I know! Couldn't stop laughing!**

**PART 11 THE END**

**What? Don't toy with me, really? OH YEAH! BOOM! BITCHES!**

(Hai guys :3 I toke a break bc of all the mean flamerz!

**Oh hell yes**

I looked up what a troll fic is

**What? Hahaha, you seriously didn't know what it was? This girl is deprived!**

and this isn't a joke!

**It's not? SERIOUSLY! I did NOT see that coming!**

I m trying my best lel

***Sniggers immaturely* the fact that she said lel just counters what she said before that!**

Plz stop flaming.

**I think I've made it clear that I'm not going to stop flaming.**

:( Im gonna try to write better thank u 4 da nice advice in da comments!

**Yeah, advice. In their final desperate hope that they can change this story.**

Anyway dis is the last part

**You lie.**

Who do you think obsidianwing will be with?

**Your mum**

BTW U FLAMERS R DUMB IDIOTS HAV U HEARD OF A THING CALLED A LIFE?)

**AHAHAHAHAH! You think you can talk? Have you looked in the mirror lately?**

Obsidianwing new she luved sol.

**Yes because after knowing each other for one night it's love. (And don't give me that love at first sight crap)**

She got up and stretched beside him. He fliped his scene hair

**What? Hair? Cats don't have hair! They have fur that doesn't flop into their faces!**

and kissed her.

**Oh for god's sake!**

"I loaf you" He mewed.

**Loaf? Bread? CANNIBALISM!?**

"I love you to" obsidianwing mewed.

**Um, he said loaf.**

Sol wrapped his tail around hers. "Lets run away from the dumb clans!" He mermured.

"...alright" obsidianwing excited.

**She excited?**

She would miss jayfeather and icewing and lionblaze and firestar but she had sol now.

**... whore.**

Sol had dark black fur and piercings and scene hair and had BOTDF tattoed on his shoulder...

**Okay I was going to wait until she was done to say, WHAT! So he changed his appearance over night? And he got piercings? And I looked up BOTDF, it's a band. CAT'S DON'T KNOW WHAT THE FUCK MUSIC IS! (Excuse language)**

he was perfect.

**Oh fuck this**

"Lets go" obsidianwing drawled.

**She drawled?**

Sol ran and she followed.

**Why?! It's obvious he want to get away from you! LEAVE HIM ALONE!**

"Im gunna change my name" sol said flipping his hair

**I wonder if she;s every even seen a real cat before...**

"to sun because spanish is stupid"

**RACIST! SHE'S RACIST TOO! OMFG**

Obsidianpaw

**So she's an apprentice again?**

sneakered

**She sneakered? How would one do that may I ask?**

because she agreed spanish was dumb.

**Wow. Just because they speak a different language to you, and it may be hard to get hang of, doesn't make it stupid! That's like Spanish people saying English is stupid! You know English is actually a lot harder to learn then most other countries because of its "their, there and they're" and its "your and you're" and stuff like that.**

Finally her and sun reached a river.

They heard paw steps behind them. It was thunderclan! They spun, they were gonna have to fight. Firestar attacked obsidianwing

**Wait, Firestar's here?**

and she was uffended.

**So am I by how bad this story really is.**

She fought back and raked his eye. She belated his tail

**Belated? How-how do you do that, exactly?**

and bended his paw. He was too strong.

**No chiz. You were nursing a kit and doing... other stuff in your apprentice hood. I wouldn't have thought you got much warrior training in. However, Firestar on the other hand, has a decent amount of lives left at this point.**

He thr owed her in the river with sol.

**... What?**

Sol fell to the bottom and was dead.

**YES! MORE MISERY FOR OBSIDIANWING! Wait, wasn't Sol (inexplicably) a vampire? Meaning he could live forever? Ugh, this fanfiction has lost all meaning.**

"No how could firestar do that he cant die now."

**Explain please?**

Obsidian circled.

**She circled?**

She swam to the top. SHE WAS ANGRY.

**Okay calm it purple ears.**

She channeled all of her rage and her blue fur turned red,

**SORCERY!**

her eyes flamed.

***Sighs* Okay...?**

She riped open firestars throught. He died.

**I would have thought so.**

Obsidianwing ran away she couldnt believe what she has done.

**Really? I mean, you killed your son and all...**

She ran to the top of cliff.

**Is she going to do what I think she's going to do? *Eyes shine hopefully***

She put one paw under the edge and sudanly she was churning in the air.

**OH HELL YEAH!**

(And thats da end. If this gets good reviews i wil right moar X3)

***Sighs* Sadly that's not the end. I will be commenting on all 17 chapters. Until next time-**

**~Eaglehaze.**


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